You know that baseball joke about who’s on first? They go through all of the 'wh' questions. In speech development, there is a sequence that children should begin to understand (receptive language) and produce (expressive language). That sequence involves all those 'wh' questions.
Children ask lots of why questions and that’s because they’re supposed to. It’s a natural part of their language development. It’s how they make sense of the universe. They arrived with no clothes and a blank slate for you to fill. Just think how much attention we pay to making sure they have clothes to wear and a special outfit to go home from the hospital. We need to pay the same kind of attention to the language and thinking skills we equip them with. Our first why question came at 4 years 4 months – a little beyond the normal development milestone. Yes, each child develops at his/her own pace. But, when the pacing is off, that could signal a problem.
There are many phrases in speech and language development. The ‘why’ stage is one of the more commonly known phases. Some parents laugh at the fact that their children are driving them crazy with why questions. This phase can be frustrating since the questions range from simple things to some complex concepts that make you scratch your head.
How many times can a child ask why? I wouldn’t know since my universe was why-less. You could say I had "No 'why'" phase. There really wasn't a 'why' phase. The one question I heard was ‘why are they taking pictures?’ That was it. Perhaps as development continues she will develop an understanding of the purpose of the why question. (Answering why questions is still a challenge. What does 'why' mean anyway?)
Again, if you’ve been around normally developing children you would probably know that phase and certainly miss it if it didn’t show up. In our case, the 2 – 3 age was filled with lots of words, some degree of unintelligible speech but no awareness on my part that the language development should have been at the place where the ‘annoying’ or ‘frustrating’ why question was a regular occurrence.
Somewhere in my searching and accessing resources that were informative, I found a milestone guide about asking and answering questions. Who knew? Who knew that there were specific stages at which children developed the ability to ask some 'wh' questions and answer others? The reality is that with each research study on the brain, language, speech & language development, early intervention, and other areas of thought, we learn more that is helpful. There’s a lot the researchers know; there’s a whole lot yet to be uncovered. The researchers might have known these things, but no one had told me.
Here’s another question to ponder: why isn’t there one place that serves as a link or hub to other PDD-NOS speech language information that could ease some of the parents’ frustrations? If there is such a place, I haven’t found it yet. However, I’ve decided to answer that question for myself. As I find new, helpful resources for each phase of this journey, I’ll post them on the blog. Why? Perhaps because I’ve endured the land of "No 'why'".
I’d like others who walk this PDD-NOS journey to have better light on the road. Where I had blind spots - language development milestones, for example - those coming after us should not have to face the same confusion. The more you know, the better you can be at taking a proactive step to anticipate, equip, or simply support your child’s language development.
In years to come, parents of all children will know more about the development stages of language because we who have struggled with it, have shared what we know. All children can benefit from some of the tips, techniques, and resources that have been created for children with speech delays. If there are resources that can help them, why would we want to share them with children who have no language development challenge? The real question is: why not? We don’t know which aspects of language development are as challenging for children with normally developing speech as they are for those with speech delays. Share what we know and we might all be better off for it. Why? Why not?
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