How far back do you remember?

Here's the question: if they're unable to communicate, does it mean that they're not experiencing things or unable to record or recall things they've experienced?  Hmmm.

On our way home recently, she asked about my college ring.  I explained that it was a sign that I had graduated from a university.  She asked, "Was that the time when you wore the blue dress and the hat?  Did the man say your name and then you bowed?  Did I speak?"  She's right - that is exactly what happened Mother's Day 2006 - hooding ceremony for the Ph. D. graduation.  She was only 3 years and 8 months.  She had just been diagnosed.  And yes, she was not speaking yet....how did she know to ask that question?  I wonder what she meant.

In 2006, she was still easily having meltdowns - in fact, she had one when I tried to send the family to get seated while I stayed with the graduating students.  Therapy had only just begun and she was just learning some basic concepts...including some words.  What made her aware that she was not speaking?

Screamed and hollered...hair tore up and  a hot mess, shoes gone flying.  I eventually asked to be allowed to sit on the side with my child.  She got calm and so, when it was almost time for me to be called, I had my sister take her to the back of the room where she could look directly at the stage and see me as I was hooded.  Brings tears to my eyes now to know that as I ensured she participate in the experience, she was recording it in her mind.  Now, 4 years later, with speech developing, not only can she recall the events, she also seems to have some kind of assessment about the event.  Will have to probe further as her self-awareness and language skills develop.

Again I ask - how far back do you remember?  We laugh when children say 'when I was little'...clearly they do have vivid memories of events that occurred even when they were little.  While speech has been slow in developing, while some facts of cognition have been impacted by the speech delay, the computer of the mind has been recording images and experiences and saving them for the day when self-awareness and language skills meet to create the most joyous of gifts - the gift of shared memories of a special day when she was only 3.5 years old - Mother's Day & graduation day.

Treat them well even as they seek to understand themselves and the universe; as they struggle with the challenges of speech, language, cognition, development of all kinds...they remember how we received them and treated them.  Unlike an old tape, their memories may not be erasable. Give them great stuff that will warm their hearts when they replay the images!