There's very little that is truly well understood about Autism and Autism Spectrum Disorders. In spite of that though, there is one thing that we in our family understand: if you keep throwing things at the condition (not in a wild and unconsidered way, but sensibly), there will be results.
Take for example the following conversation that occurred between my niece (age 8) and my sister this weekend. She says, "Guy Fieri is dreamy". Her mother says, "Dreamy?" She, "You don't know what 'dreamy' means?" Her mother, "Uh, no". She replied, "In this case, it means he's handsome". OK then. If you say so.
This is probably a typical 8 year old girl conversation. Or maybe it isn't. I can't remember that far back myself so I couldn't tell you if I was having this kind of conversation at 8. What I do know is this, without throwing everything but the kitchen sink at this condition, we might never have got here.
J has had music 'therapy' from age 0. I like opera so she's had to listen to that and there's enough music in this house to launch a battle ship. She's had speech therapy from age 3, ballet 'therapy' from age 5, piano 'therapy' from age 5, She has self confidence (which enables her to speak her mind) not because she's this great speaker, but because there are things that she knows she can do. Somewhere deep within she's probably figured out (or been told a few hundred times), if you practice you will get better. So she practices her piano, her ballet and her speech. It's all of a piece: practice makes perfect.
As Rozella Stewart writes in her article, "Motivating Students Who Have Autism Spectrum Disorders" on the Indiana Resource Center for Autism website (link provided below), "[w]ith successful experiences, each [child] can become a victor who lives, works, and plays in the community [emphasis added]. It is difficult, at least in part, because people who have autism are particularly vulnerable to key factors which impact motivation." One significant motivator is self-confidence.
My sister's approach, hardly stress-tested or supported by reams of empirical data, has been to expose J to things that she could conquer. Does it help that she's a gifted singer? Probably. Does it help that she can now play the piano? Probably. Does it help that shes loves and is good at ballet? Probably. But the reality is that every child on the spectrum has things that he/she would love to do and will do well, because of that passion. The challenge is to find those activities and allow the child to excel. Success breeds success. I might even add that effortful success breeds more effort.
So do as my sister did, throw everything but the kitchen sink at the condition. One day, maybe they'll all be able to say, "In this case, it means he's handsome", or something equally impressive. This was almost as good as two weeks ago, when she refused a bracelet in a store because, said she, "It's not my style." Oh ho. So you have words and style too? Note to self: watch this one. She is not easy.
"When diligently applied, proactive strategies often prove successful in eventually eliciting positive, productive responses and pride in personal accomplishment". So says Ms. Stewart and she is absolutely right. So, apply diligently starting today. Something will happen and it will have been your gift to your child.
While we are waiting and hoping for a cure, we have to be mindful that we cannot wait to help our children. We need to come up with strategies to help our children grow and flourish today. Many of parents will join various support groups where the talk is focused primarily on dietary supplements and dietary adjustments which are entirely valid approaches to dealing with this disorder. My feeling is that we need to consider marrying those approaches with aggressive interventions in the area of our children's academic and social development. That is as important if not more so, in my humble opinion, than the dietary changes.
