Seen and Unseen (development milestones)

Remember when it was almost time for the baby to arrive? The doctor went through the delivery process including the APGAR score (appearance, pulse, grimace, activity, respiration). You knew what to expect. You were probably also advised about what action the doctor would take if the score was low. Then they sent you home with the baby – no book, no notes, no tip sheet. Some things we know from common sense. Other things we’ve learned from the experiences of our parents, friends, colleagues and the abundance of literature out there.


The baby had 10 fingers and 10 toes. She ate; she cried; she pooped. Things looked good. What I didn’t know was that there was growth and development that could be seen and growth and development that was unseen. Physical development – is obvious and seen. Cognitive and Emotional development – they are actually happening as well. Perhaps the more enlightened parent knows what those facets look like. Sometimes, though, you’re so consumed by the daily routine and the visible signs of development, you forget that there is unseen development at work.


The good news is that with the internet and the explosion of information, there are many more accessible resources that give you robust information. I recently found two sites that I wish I had seen in those early years. While I was focused on feedings, gross motor skills, crawling, walking, and the other seen signs of development, I was unaware of the subtle signs of unseen development - in the cognitive and emotional arenas. Good news was – I have a great pediatrician. With each visit, I learned something new about the seen and unseen development milestones that my daughter was being measured against.


Lesson learned – they can’t give you all the information about every aspect of a baby's development as there is growth that is seen and unseen, known and unknown even to the scientists.


The same is true of the speech – language and cognitive development. Saying words is the starting point of the journey. The first words let you know that they have the equipment to produce the sounds and they can hear and imitate. At 2 yrs she knew over 100 words but at 3 the speech was still unintelligible. Once we visited Kennedy Krieger Institute for our developmental testing, I discovered the range of unseen skills that should have been developing.


While I wish the answers to the cure and cause question were available, I am grateful for all of the speech–language pathologists and practitioners who can administer the tests and clue me in to what is happening developmentally and what should be happening. The ability to name action and agent (what flies, runs, bites); the ability to draw a picture; the ability to repeat a sentence or the ability to repeat a string of numbers - these are just some of the tasks in the assessment that tell the practitioner what cognitive strengths and challenges we face. You can’t study for these assessments.  You have to be developing with the right stimulation, experiences, or professional guidance.
 

Enjoy your child’s development.  Remember, however, that while you can’t see what’s happening in the brain something should be happening. If your child is normally developing then the notion of seen and unseen development perhaps didn’t even register for you. For me, once I discovered that weight, height and knowing 100+ words weren’t enough of an indication of development, I wanted to know more about the seen and unseen development that should be occurring. Check out these websites if you’re interested in learning more about the development phases of children. They are just milestones but they are a guide that can be helpful to parents who want to know what should come next.


Development milestones

PBS child development tracker

If your child isn't growing (weight or height), you would want to know what you could do.  Same goes for developing speech, language, and thinking skills.  If there's a delay, you should learn what it is and what you can do to address it.  Weight and height are development milestones that you can see easily.  There are other areas of development that are unseen but these also deserve your attention and support.  Development includes aspects that are both seen and unseen.  Visible or not, all aspects need our nurturing.