Dancing in the Balcony

We attend a church with a balcony.  I've been sitting in the balcony since my daughter was born.  First it was the need for space - the carrier, the bags; then, it was ease of access - you've got to get up and leave to feed or change the baby.  Over time, it has become the place that allows her to see better.  She loves music so the balcony is the best place to be to see or hear the choirs and look at the handbell choir when they play.  It's also the best place to be when the liturgical dancers perform. (Fear not, I'm sitting one or two pews from the front.  And when I'm sitting in front, I'm holding the tail of her skirt or dress.)

At first, I was intrigued by how intently she looked at the choir director.  Then, she started imitating the director's every move.  I should have known that a gift was being revealed when she started conducting other musical items on her own.  Then, came the sight.  Imagine you're sitting on the ground floor of a church or concert hall and you know the performer is on the stage or at the front of the sanctuary. But, there is movement upstairs and people keep looking up and smiling.  What do you do?  Of course, you look up and smile too...someone is dancing in the balcony!

I smiled politely as people looked up - in awe, amazed, curious.  I smiled politely when friends came by after service and said "I just love to see her dancing and conducting".  As a musician and performer, my first thought was "but it's distracting." 

Discovery - sometimes what you think is the featured presentation is not really the featured presentation. It took a while to recognize the gift. I was slightly embarassed - she was oblivious.  She was doing her own choreography in time to the music and with the right mood and interpretation.  I certainly didn't teach her that.  The spirit of God raised that up out of her very being so that she could worship Him in spirit and in truth. It was visible to all of us so that we could be reminded that while there was a developmental delay in one area, her cup was running over in another area.

Diagnosed at three, dancing in the balcony at 4, and finally taking dancing lessons at five.

Discovery  - letting your child dance in the balcony of life affirms who he/she is and allows him/her to demonstrate, develop, and nurture the gifts that may be hidden.  Speech is hugely important to life but it is not the only form of self-expression.  Let everything that hath breath, praise the Lord!

Where do I begin?

In the Sound of Music, Maria (Julie Andrews) attempts to teach the Captain’s children how to sing. She starts strumming the guitar and says “let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start.  When you read, you begin with A-B-C when you sing you begin with doh-ray-me” and that is the very place that I started.

One of your first decisions as a parent, if you’re going to work, is "who will take care of my child?" You ask the obvious questions, "Is the place clean, safe, and are the caregivers loving?"  I already had a great child care provider so those questions had already been answered. With the new information about the speech delay however, I needed to ensure that other questions were answered. How can we tap into the strengths that this child possesses while building on the areas that need help? Will the daycare provider have an environment that supports language development and stimulation? 

Start with the basics: I started with blocks, puzzles, board books, manipulatives that continued to provide the knowledge deposits that she needed. I began to manage the language that surrounded her…not too high brow, not too low, certainly not vulgar or colorful. 

Discovery: You’ve got to be careful what you say. In the early days, my sister would say often “she’s not deaf; she’s just not speaking.” That was a reminder that even though you’re not getting a whole lot back in (expressive) language…the ears are working and that stuff you’re tempted to say will be stuck in there. Ain’t no telling when and how it could come flying out when you least expect. And that could be embarrassing.

So, with a house decorated with flash cards, what else do you do to support speech development? I certainly learned how to say things in different ways. There’s an unfortunate thing we do when people don’t understand what we’re saying…we speak louder. Duh? If they're deaf, speaking louder does not equip them with hearing. If there's a comprehension problem, speaking slower does not aid comprehension.  I had to learn to speak differently. 

I learned quickly that I had to find different ways to communicate the basic concepts.  Sometimes the flashcards had pictures that helped…those were the easy times. Other times, we simply had to get up and move to the place where the concept was visible or to demonstrate the concept itself.

That summer, she qualified for summer school and it was a great experience. She was familiar with the bus routine and the teaching staff. I bought some pre-school resources and tried to complement what she was learning in therapy and at day care. (more about the $$$ wasted on those resources).  She was great with colors, numbers, fruits and vegetables, and weather. All of those easy concepts that come with pictures. We started with the basics and that gave us a strong foundation in preparation for pre-school. They can’t survive if you don’t start with the basics!! 

Blocks and manipulatives of every kind, these were My Gift to My Child.